When life doesn\u2019t go according to plan, our first response will often be one of fear. Unfortunately, life generally never goes according to plan – so we encounter fear a lot!<\/p>\n
Since fear cannot be avoided, we need to develop tools to cope with it so that we can allow it a constructive space in our lives, and not let it be a destructive force if left unchecked.<\/p>\n
Hopefully, this brief article can spark conversations that will help us all learn to fight the fear in our daily lives and begin to explore our own unique reactions a little closer.<\/p>\n
This blog is how we recognise our stress responses to fear, accept them and move past them.<\/p>\n
If you ask most people what the typical responses to fear are, they may reply with \u2018Fight or Flight\u2019. But what many of us don\u2019t know is that there are two more responses, these are Freeze and Fawn. None of these are good or bad, they\u2019re just typical responses that we lean towards to cope with our fear.<\/p>\n
With the help of trauma-informed treatment specialist, Patrick Walden, (LICSW), here are some brief overviews that he shared in an interview with The Mighty.<\/p>\n
Fight (anger)<\/strong> \u201cFight looks like self-preservation at all costs,\u201d Walden told The Mighty, adding that this trauma response can manifest in explosive outbursts of temper, aggressive behavior, demanding perfection from others or being \u201cunfair\u201d in interpersonal confrontations.<\/p>\n He also noted that while we typically associate the fight response with men, women can also struggle with anger, though in many cases they direct their anger inward at themselves instead of toward others.<\/p>\n Recognising our default response to be angry will help us temper this response and create space to calm down before making any decisions or hurting people around us unnecessarily.<\/p>\n Flight (anxiety)<\/strong> \u201cFlight can look like obsessive thinking or compulsive behavior, feelings of panic or anxiety, rushing around, being a workaholic or over-worrying, [and being] unable to sit still or feel relaxed,\u201d Walden said.<\/p>\n Taking time to meditate and reduce anxiety is helpful for those of us who tend towards this type of response.<\/p>\n Freeze (avoidance)<\/strong> \u201cFreeze looks like spacing out or feeling unreal, isolating [yourself] from the outside world, being a couch potato \u2026 [and having] difficulty making and acting on decisions,\u201d Walden said.<\/p>\n If you feel like this when fear hits, having a few people you trust and can encourage you to take action would be helpful to overcoming your fears.<\/p>\n
\nThose of us who tend toward the fight response innately believe power will guarantee the security and control that we may have lacked in childhood.<\/p>\n
\nThis fear response usually shows up in people who are chronically busy and perfectionistic. They may believe \u201cbeing perfect\u201d is a surefire way to receive love and prevent abandonment by important people in their lives.<\/p>\n
\nSome of us who experience the freeze response are often mistrustful of others and generally find comfort in solitude. The freeze response may also refer to feeling physically or mentally \u201cfrozen\u201d as a result of trauma, which people may experience as dissociation.<\/p>\n